19th Mei 2009 marked the death anniversary of Sardar Gurbax Singh, my maternal grandfather. Now days when i look at my nephew and niece and my husband's nephew and niece I see how much grandparents love their grandchildren, I sometimes yearn that I still had my grandparents around. I was to young to understand the bond of grandfather-granddaughter. Grandpa or Bapa as we used to lovingly call him, was a handsome man. Having served in the police force, he was a tall broad shouldered man. In the many years I had known him I have never seen him raise his voice or get angry. I still remember I used to sneak into his room every morning in Seremban during school holidays just to hear and see him recite the Jaapji Sahib. I was young when Bapa passed away. I could not even comprehend death and was lost as to what was happening. All I can remember is my dad bundling my brother and me into the car and driving to Segamat (my Dad's hometown) and then continuing on our journey to Seremban the next morning. I can still picture how my mum (who was already in Seremban earlier) hugged me and cried. I saw my grandpa sleeping on the bed which was now put in the hall. All I could wonder was why was he sleeping when so many people are around and also that why was he asleep in the hall when his bed is supposed to be in his room. He looked calm and peaceful. Then they took him away but when they returned he was not with them. I was never to see him again in person except in my memories and dreams. I never understood where they took him at that time but as I grew up everything made sense to me. I knew where they took Bapa.
I know this may sound weird but 2 days later as i stood at the verandah looking out into our kampung house compound, I swear I heard Bapa's voice coming from the Lee Rubber factory lane and he was calling out my aunt's name "Guddi" just as he always used to call out whenever he came home from the market. Alas only the voice echoed but Bapa was gone forever and that was the bitter truth we had to accept and move on in life. The passing of Bapa is more significant year after year because 19th May also happens to be my brother's birthday. So on one side we celebrate life, one the other hand we remember death!
